oy'know what i hate? i hate that at the very end of the day... i am the "nice guy"... sure it's a great quality to have from everyone else's perspective because if you find someone who's generally nice, u would never ever have to worry about that person ever jacking you in any way.
but on the flip side... nice guys finish last....
i hate how when faced with moral dilemna's and ethical decisions, that we always choose the right choice in the end... never allowed to make a mistake or falter in our noble paths... (k, i'm not exactly a saint, but on big BIG things, i tend to always float towards the good side...)
EVERYONE has done some terrible things in their lives, but lately, i've been using it to justify whatever things i WANT to do in the future... i find all these other people still nice so am i just really afraid of what they will think of me afterwards and not the actual action which isn't even all that bad to begin with?!?!?!
do i just look into things too deeply? am i getting to ahead of myself?!?!
i've been going through some kind of identity crisis lately, and i guess i've been trying to assess the kind of person i really am, the kind of person i allow others to perceive me, and just how different those two really are.
i will do the nice thing in the end... i may not like it.... i won't exactly get burned for doing so but i also will never win anything on the same side...
maybe that's why even the most important person in my life was still able to walk all over me... its easy using a nice guy... why? cuz they are nice... and although nobody wants to hurt a nice guy... they also know deep inside that the nice guy will find a way to survive for your benefit...
seriously... i hate that...
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