bad dreams

can't sleep... maybe it's cuz i fell asleep at 8:15pm tonight... or maybe it's a combination of many things... i don't know... but i woke up from a rather realistic dream, y'know... the kind where u can't tell what's real and what's not real anymore?

it was the kind of dream that is a recurring theme in my life these days... where whether or not it was real or not that i just dreamt... it either has happened, or is bound to happen in the future... so why am i in a bad mood right now? prolly cuz i can see it happening... or will happen... or may actually be happening right now...

this is worse than a nightmare.... at least my nightmares are about impossible situations (my last REAL nightmare is maybe the month long nightmare of being abducted by aliens... i was so freaked out i had to sleep with my parents for a month in their room and the first night i couldn't sleep in their room i cried... i was maybe 10 or 12 at the time... but this movie scared the living shit out of me:



maybe it ultimately attributed to my obsession with X-files in the future, and my intrigue of the extraterrestrial, but the movie had a recurring nightmare in me that i would be abducted out of my bedroom window... i had my own room at the time but wouldn't sleep in it... i knew that if i was to be abducted, i'd want to be abducted with my family... cuz then it wouldnj't be so bad... or at least that's how my thought process went....

but yes, that was the last REAL nightmare i can imagine... ever since then it's just been bad dreams of real time events, and tonight is no different...

i'm having a hard time falling back asleep... maybe cuz i already got my 6 hours in... i don't want to work, but i also don't want to do anything...

maybe i should just pack for new york... or maybe i should play a video game? play with my ipod? blog more? i'll most likely just lay in bed until i can force myself to go back to sleep...